Monday, July 03, 2006
The ghost of a good thing
My stomach hurts. Yeah. Im trying to remember exactly when it was that i swallowed a knife, cause that is exactly how it feels like. I feel like taking a shit. But then again, shitting out a knife might not be such a fun experience.
But you know what, i'd much rather deal with shitting out a knife that deal with the shit thats happening in our class.
I guess its human nature to find someone to hate. Now that all of the real hatables in our class has been culled away (im thinkin masajo here), weve started hating each other. Gone are the days when we had someone to hate as a collective. Gawd, those days were fun.
If i had known that the shawl wearing gabriella held such a valuable part in the cohesion of our class, i might have not been so hostile towards him. Oi vey. C'est la vie.
The fickle peace lasted a while. Then one bad thing happened after another. Heads got inflated. Tempers got frayed, and fingers got pointed. Now, amidst the hahahas and the hohohos, what looks like smiles are actually fangs being bared.
But i've got to hand it to my friends. Amidst the shitstorm tempest we find ourselves surrounded in (again) everyday, we are as tight as we have ever been. Tighter, even. Though a few of us arent with us anymore, and there are but a few of us left, our bonds are tempered and unfrayable. I have a solid foundation. No matter what i say, or do, or believe. No matter who i fall in love with, or hang out with, or jam with, and no matter how much time i spend with my girlfriend, I know i can always count on them to be in my corner. We might look like the class idiots. Like the noisy hooligans in the classroom, but that just proves how much people dont know about each of us. All they see are the four rambunctious boys fooling around (one with hair that seems to yell "hate me! i have long hair!"), a girl with weird taste in friends and a quiet guy in the middle. Whose only cares in the world are wreacking havoc and playing Counterstrike.
Gotta love that judgementality.
All i know is, im luckier that most, because i know who my friends are. Without a shadow of a doubt, no matter what. not everybody can say that with the same conviction i can. Xam, Doray, Jene, Pao, Rei, Ron, and Sherman will never let me down.
Trish will never let me down.
And thats a fact, Jack.
As for those who are trying to bring me down, sniggering behind my back, cooking up nasty little scenarios in the nooks and crannies of their narrow little minds, then spreading their bile to others, I have a few words for you: God hates hypocrites, and so do I. Might wanna look up that word, though.. If you dont know what it means. Here's a link. Just so you have an idea.
Its called a life and a clue. You might want to get one, preferably both. I will not deign to your level though, so have fun.
Comprende? Bueno.
I look back, and it saddens me. I guess I have been naive. I expected things to go back to the way they were. When everything was fun and everyone was happy. When there was no back fighting and hostilities, and everybody could sing one song. I have been chasing the ghost of a good thing. 1jrn2 has been dead for a while now, and I guess its time for me to finally burry it along with all of the sweet memories held.
C'est la vie. I wonder what charts would say if she walked into our classroom tomorrow? rc? tey? haha.. such a sad thought..
RIP, 1jrn2.
Esta es vida. La vida es dificil.
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